He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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