God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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