found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize