Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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