even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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