Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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