Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
