Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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