There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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