I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
