They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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