hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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