Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.

(716): View more from New York

i dont this its possible to queef on command.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.

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(914): View more from New York

i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros

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(210): View more from Texas

I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on

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(773): View more from Illinois

i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table

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(352): View more from Florida

Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?

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(518): View more from New York

I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?

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