eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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