my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm both gender and math confused
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
