I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
