I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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