Where did you get a picture of my penis
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
