There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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