why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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