Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
