We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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