Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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