Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
