Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
