As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
