So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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