He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize