make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So much rum. So many feels.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
