if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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