I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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