omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
