I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
