belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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