im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
