He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
