she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
