Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
