I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
