Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Come share oat with me in your robe
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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