I wish my penis had an off switch
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
