I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
