dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
