either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
