see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
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