OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He? As in you personified your dick?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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