The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
