No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
