Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize