dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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