we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
