morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
