Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
