Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
