did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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