Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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