I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
