VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
