you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
