she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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