I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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